Archive for August, 2015

Thought Catalog


First you’re going to let yourself miss them.

You aren’t going to call them. You aren’t going to beg them. You aren’t going to plead or bargain or negotiate your way into getting back together. You aren’t going to miss them publically or loudly or desperately but you are going to feel it straight through to the core.

You aren’t going to lie to yourself about feeling amazing and fine. You’re going to feel shitty. You’re going to feel lonely. You’re going to curl up in bed with a warm mug of tea and a huge, hollowed-out heart and you’re going to cry for as many nights in a row as it takes. You’re going to keep yourself together on the outside but make no lies to yourself on the inside. You are hurting. You are reeling. You are going through a thing and that’s okay. You aren’t going…

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Thought Catalog


He always has that smitten look on his face whenever he’s photographed with her, that one girl he calls ex-girlfriend. With me, it was more of a socially friendly smile even though we were dating at the time. He dated me and claimed he liked me, but he was never in love with me like I hoped he would eventually be. It was my choice and I got what I asked for. I had him, his time, his body. I became the girl who was in love with a guy who didn’t see me the same way, the girl who was too smart to lie to herself but did it anyway, and the girl who never quite knows how to let go.

Evidently, three months after the break up, I found myself crying at the glimpse of that smitten look on his face, once again, because of that same girl. I…

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Thought Catalog

Flickr mariahfleming Flickr mariahfleming

1. Loneliness is OK.

You will feel lonely from time to time. Maybe all of the time. Even in rooms full of people, you will feel alone. This does not mean that you are broken, or unlovable, or worthless. It simply means that you are utterly and beautifully human. Don’t try so hard to fill this space. Sit with it, feel it, write about it, make art with it. Your sadness will prove useful someday. Hold it close and embrace it.

2. The only constant is change.

Enjoy the late nights in beanbag-furnished living rooms, the aimless drives at 2AM to see the snow, afternoons sprawled out on the lawn doing nothing but staring at stray wisps of cloud. You will never again have all of your friends living in the same place. You will never again roam the halls of your college, books spilling from your arms…

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“10 Things People Who Don’t Really Have Any Exes Understand”

I’ve been sitting on this headline for three weeks now. It’s relatable. It hasn’t really been done before. It has the potential to be really funny.

But it’s a lie.

It’s my way of reaching out to the “Eternally Single” audience without actually admitting how eternally single I am. Later, I can write fun pieces about casual relationships or dating, and no one will think anything of it.

But the thing is, it’s not that I don’t really have any exes; I just don’t have any. There aren’t any shades of grey to the matter. I’ve never been on a date, and the number of people I’ve flirted with is very safely in the low single digits.

I haven’t gone on a date with anyone partially because no one’s ever asked, and partially because the idea of dating…

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