Archive for June, 2015

Thought Catalog


You’ve met someone you really like. You hang out and the chemistry is there, at least for you anyway. But suddenly you find yourself in a dark pool of radio silence. He takes forever to respond to text messages, if he even responds at all. You stare at your phone and wait for him to reply. Your phone buzzes but it’s just some dumb email for zit cream. The silence drives you so mad that you turn your phone all the way off or put it on Airplane mode so you won’t be distracted waiting for a message to pop in.

It’s been, like, six hours so you think he must have replied to you by now. You power your phone back on and take it out of airplane mode to discover that, nope. He hasn’t.

You’ve been ghosted.

Being ghosted or ghosting someone is part of the dating…

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Thought Catalog

Flickr / Inessa AkhmedovaFlickr / Inessa Akhmedova

One month, three months, two years later, no matter how much time has passed the one you thought you were already over somehow pops back into your head like an unwanted advertisement on your favorite Pandora station. You know you’re over him…You’re pretty sure you’re over him, and when you start to doubt that you’re not, just because you’re thinking about him, remember that you are. You most certainly are over him.

1. You wonder what he’s up to.

You think about everything you used to know about his life, his job, his friends, his family, and you wonder what’s going on with all of them.

2. You consider reaching out.

If you had a nickel for every time you almost texted him you’d be a very rich woman. It’s a good thing he can only see that you’re typing if he has your message opened…

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Thought Catalog


It’s not that you’re too heavy, or too thin. It’s not because you’re too slutty, or too much of a prude. It has nothing to do with the size of your breasts or your thighs or your stomach.

It’s not that you’re too successful, or not successful enough. You could spend your entire life asking yourself what you did wrong, or what it was about you that wasn’t good enough for him, what it was that other women had that you were missing.

You’ll never find the answer. Because there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not that you aren’t pretty enough or smart enough or confident enough. It’s not your finances or your job or your friends.

You are just as you are supposed to be. You are perfect even amongst all of your imperfections. As long as you maintain a thirst for life, a desire to work hard…

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StockSnap / Joshua EarleStockSnap / Joshua Earle

Have you ever been in pain? I’m not talking about the kind where you stub your toe and yell and curse at whatever inanimate object caused the injury. Nor am I talking about the kind that comes from running a distance race or doing any sort of physical activity where your mind is alternating between, “I can, I can, I can…” and “Mother of God, why the hell did I decide to do this?” I’m not even talking about the kind of pain that you feel at the end of a bad day or maybe when you’re sick, or even in the moments and situations that we find ourselves feeling lonely or less than. No, not any of those pains.

I am talking about the kind of pain that feels permanent. The kind you’re not sure has an ending. The kind that you go to bed…

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IMG_2557 adrien field

It is a disconcerting feeling – one day you wake up and look at your newsfeed and you see your friends living enviable lives. Some are getting engaged, some are off traveling the world, some are making a name for themselves with career accolades accumulating at rapid pace. You were always so precocious, ahead of your peers and thought your future was going to continue in an unchallenged upward trajectory. You were like the hare, racing ahead towards some finish line, destined for success.

But success has eluded you. At some point, you fell behind. The tortoises, with their slow and steady pace, began to pull ahead. Maybe you took a detour somewhere along the way, maybe several detours. Maybe running so quickly for so long, you needed a rest. But while you spent so many evenings in pursuit of mindless entertainment, thinking you had plenty of time…

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Blame yourself for being too big, too small, too loud, too opinionated. Fail to realize that you were just too big for his small hands, you were too loud for her closed ears, too opinionated for a mind that didn’t fully understand you. Sometimes its hard for people to understand that we all hold stars within our bones, sometimes people simply can’t handle having the universe within their palms. Blame yourself for that.

Think about what could have been. Project yourself into the future, recount and revisit all of your memories and imagine with wide eyes how many more you could have made with someone who was never fully present. Think about how one day, maybe, his laughter would have met his eyes.

Compare. Whenever someone interesting comes along, whenever someone who shows a genuine curiosity for what you hold within your mind enters your life, compare them to…

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