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Archive for May, 2015

A Dream

It’s been a while since I’ve had a dream that felt so real.

I was sitting on a lazy boy chair reading a book. Q comes up to me from behind the chair, and we talk for a while. he’d mention things to me, and I’d reply while switching my gaze back to my book every now and then. It was just a casual conversation, about random topics I don’t remember anymore. It felt like a normal conversation between two friends.

“Hey I need to go now…” he says.

I look up to him, I smile and say “okay.”, as if I wasn’t disappointed with what he said to me (when usually I would be).

He straightened his back, and said “I’ll see you then.” All of a sudden, he turns my lazy boy chair around, places his hands on both sides of my cheeks, and lands a quick kiss on my lips. Then he leaves.

It takes me 5 seconds to realize what he did, and I try and reach to him and stammer, “wait!”

He turns around, and walks back to me. He bends down and places his hands on both sides of the lazy boy arm chair.

I stare at him, still confused. I felt my heart beating fast… so it was ready to jump out of my mouth. As much as I wanted to contain it, I couldn’t help but smile from extreme happiness. It takes me a while to collect my thoughts. I had so many things I wanted to say to him, but all I could manage to say was, “…why?”.

He walks beside me, and sits on his heels, so he is the same level as me. He takes my hands in his, looks at me, and says, “I… I just felt like it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, and he laughs too. Then he places his hands on my cheeks again and pulls me in for another kiss…

Next thing I know, my alarm rings and I’m lying down on my bed.

For a moment I actually thought it happened. I felt so light and so happy when I woke up, I was smiling to myself. But it took a while for reality to sink in, and tell me It was all a dream, honey.

Some dreams can feel so real, you actually believe they have happened. It has been a long time since I’ve had a dream that felt like that. For a second I actually believed Q kissed me, and said all those things to me, even I was surprised. For a while, I felt really happy and light. but when you realize it’s just a dream, especially if it felt this good, you can’t help but be disappointed. But in the end, you just have to learn learn to live with it… live with the “What ifs”.

Later that day, I went wall climbing with Q, and I acted as if that dream didn’t bother me at all.

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