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Archive for February, 2015

Thought Catalog

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Good friends come and go, but sometimes you can just tell that you’ve found your lifelong partner in crime. This isn’t your husband. This isn’t your boyfriend. She’s bigger than that. She’s your best friend, and she’s your everything.

Here’s how you know you’ve been blessed to find her:

You have fun doing absolutely nothing.

You don’t need to plan big outings when you get together. Hell, you don’t even have to go out. You can talk for hours on end about nothing and everything, laughing at shared experiences and doing some soul searching along the way. Sometimes you don’t even need to say real words to communicate, because you’ve spent so much time together that you’ve literally developed your own special language. At some point, people will joke that you must be dating, and you’ll just look at each other and laugh. But somehow, when you’re together doing…

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Remember the guy who left me for another girl?

Just so I don’t get tired of referring to him as “the guy who left me for another girl”, I’ll call him Y.

The second to the last thing I heard from a friend of mine was that Y had a new girlfriend, which doesn’t affect me at all (except for the fact that while he has a girlfriend, I’m still praying to the gods of love that my crush likes me back). I guess you can say I’m happy for him? Well I’m not happy for him, but I’m not sad either. I just don’t care, honestly.

A few days ago, I was catching up with one of Y’s friends, and he told me that Y made another “creepy” post about me on Facebook. Before I read the post all I could think was, “Dude, you have a girlfriend, why make a post about… someone who is not your girlfriend?!”. Then when his friend showed me the post, it didn’t sound creepy at all.

He used to call me the sun, while he was the moon (which when I think about it now, it sounds ridiculously cheesy and stupid). The moment I saw that sun and moon metaphor in the post, I was 90% sure he was talking about me, and like I said, it wasn’t as creepy as I thought it would be. From what I understood from the post, he was just talking about how he suddenly missed me, and hopes that I am happy, and pretty much he’s just saying that he is finally moving on.

(Whether that post was about me or not) When I read the post, I didn’t really feel anything. My anxiety didn’t act up, but I didn’t feel all light and bubbly inside either. All I did was stare at my laptop screen, and tell myself, “…okay.” And I guess this reaction pretty much tells me that I’ve completely moved on from what had happened more than a year ago.

When I look back at what he did to me, it was definitely painful, and I’m still having a hard time forgiving him for it. Maybe I did love him, because if I didn’t it wouldn’t have taken me more than 8 months to bring back my self-confidence and finally move on. No guy has ever shattered me in this way. I cared for him… I cared for him so much, I wanted to help him, but he didn’t let me. I’ll admit, I think about how much he hurt me, almost every week. But just because I dwell on it, doesn’t mean I’m not over it. Now, I no longer give a damn. I’ve lost all capacity to even care about what he does with his life. All I can do is wish him good luck.

Just this morning I was talking to another friend of Y about this, and after I told him about Y’s Facebook post, he asked me, “Can you talk to him? Are you ready to talk to him?”. When he asked me that, I couldn’t give a definite yes or no. The last time I attempted to talk to him, he fell for me again, and I don’t want that to happen again. I still have my apprehensions about talking to him. I did consider talking to him again (since it’s been more than half a year since the last time we’ve talked), but after reading his recent post, I told his friend that it’s best that I don’t talk to him, especially since he has a girlfriend now. I don’t plan on unblocking him on my Facebook or phone, I think it’s best if I keep things the way it is.

I don’t know if he still reads my WordPress (and I pray to God that he doesn’t or I’ll be genuinely scared for my life). In his Facebook post, he hopes that I am happy, and am I happy? Well, I can’t say I’m extremely happy. I have my moments of anxiety and depression, because of school and other things (and they have been more frequent since the day he left me for another girl), but I can say that I am definitely better than I was more than a year ago.

I’m single, chasing after my crush who probably doesn’t like me the way I like him, and it’s okay… I’m okay, and that’s all that matters right now.

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Thought Catalog

Kendra Kendra

1. “Honestly, one reason to get hitched at some point in life is so that someone can actually be there when you’re sick. This blows.”

2. “Imagine being sick at 78 with no one to look after you? I really need to volunteer at the seniors center more.”

3. “So this is it, my hour has come. I’m going to die like this, cold and alone.”

4. “How long do you think it’ll take everyone to realize I’m dead. A few days? A week?”

5. “Really regretting not making out with that hot guy from Miami two years ago right now. Why didn’t I just do it?”

6. “I totally should have told my Mum I loved her on the phone last week. Going to text her that right now.”

7. “I kinda wish I had a dog right now.”

8. “Kinda want to tell one of my friends…

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Thought Catalog

You're the WorstYou’re the Worst

1. “I need to get my shit together.”

2. “This is the week I get my shit together.”

3. “I need to text ____ back.”

4. “I’ll text them back…later.”

5. “When’s the last time I checked my mailbox? I never get mail but, I mean. There might be something important.”

6. “Oh cool, six weeks of coupons.”

7. “Are my favorite pants clean? I guess I’m not wearing pants today. I have to put on pants to leave the house, right? I guess I am wearing dirty pants today.”

8. “I should do laundry.”

9. “How am I STARVING? Oh shit. Have I eaten today?”

10. “I need to buy groceries.”

11. “I’ll just buy lunch, just today. As a treat. Tomorrow I’ll buy groceries.”

12. “Where are my keys?”

13.
“How is it 3:00 PM already?”

14. “Okay I am going to just make that…

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Thought Catalog

Flickr / Danielle Elder Flickr / Danielle Elder

We’ve all met one. To some she’s the “emotional train wreck.” Others call her the life of the party. She’s the girl whose opinions are never hidden, whose emotions are laid bare. She’s unpredictable. The girl with no filter. A sensitive soul who could jump for joy today yet explode like a volcano tomorrow. She’s fiercely loyal to everyone she loves but will hold the mother of all grudges if you lose her trust. Her eyes have dampened far too many floors, both with tears of joy and tears of sorrow. On the surface, she might seem like a hassle that most guys can do without. Most will think they don’t want the drama that surrounds this diva. She’s the distraction a successful man doesn’t need. Yet the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve is still great girlfriend material…

It’s the dedicated, hard-working males…

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Thought Catalog

GirlsGirls

Attempting to impart some knowledge at the ripe young age of twenty-five may indeed seem a bit gauche…à la Not That Kind of Girl, perhaps. (Though, in all fairness, LD was 28). But truthfully, I’ve learned more about myself since twenty-one than I have in all of my other years combined. While those four years are incredibly crucial in terms of growth and opportunity, we tend to attach way too much importance to the decisions we make during this time. We waste time worrying and analyzing and stressing over things that simply won’t matter in a year or five. Gaining some perspective can be really helpful. So take some advice from a not-much-older-but-indubitably much-wiser twenty-five-year-old. Take a step back, trust yourself, and try to appreciate how much time you really have.

30 Things I Would Tell My 21-Year-Old Self

1. Your happiness is everything.

2. New friends can be equally…

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Thought Catalog

Friday Night LightsFriday Night Lights

He swung his feet against the cold hardwood flooring. His gut was spilling over his boxer shorts: plain black with nothing but the outline of his manhood peering out from beneath it. He belched. Loudly. The soft dim from the hotel room ceiling light cast a mild shadow across his body. He slipped on his shoes to kiss me goodbye. He promised he’d call me the next day. He said that we’d grab lunch sometime – sometime soon. His lips tasted like me when I grazed his mouth. And then he left, and I never heard from him again. 

***

All of a sudden it went from zero to sixty – from his hands grazing my cheeks, to every part of our bodies being intertwined. It started out with his kiss, lovingly and beautiful. He ran his fingertips through my hair. I could smell his cologne as we moved…

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