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Archive for August, 2013

In my opinion, being trusted by someone is one of the best feelings in the world.

Now, I consider myself one of the most insensitive and indifferent living beings in the entire universe (okay, I might be just exaggerating, but I do consider myself pretty insensitive). I have a tendency to subconsciously ignore what people have to say, and I get a little too objective about life, that it just irritates the hell out of people.

Sometimes, I just don’t care.

And this leads me to another fact about myself: I am not the best person to ask for comforting advice.

To all those people who wish to seek reassuring and calming solutions to your problems – be it about school, your love life, or even about shopping – do not, I repeat, DO NOT approach me. Do not approach me, because all you’re gonna hear from me is the truth.

And we all know that sometimes (actually, most of the time), the truth hurts.

Unless I know solutions or wise words of wisdom that could solve other people’s problems, I try to give them the best and most realistic advice I can give. It honestly makes no sense to tell someone, “Everything will be alright” when you know it won’t be; It’ll just be giving the person false hope.

Although it may look like giving realistic advice is a good approach, it doesn’t seem to make the person feel any better, especially if you’re dealing with extremely emotional and sensitive people. Sometimes all they want is to find a solution to their problems, and if you can’t seem to supply one, then you’re going to end up coming off as insensitive and unfeeling to them. As a result, they will never trust you with their problems ever again.

I’ve experienced several incidences like that. There were times when my friend told me about things that bothered her, and (being the good friend I was) I tried to give a good, yet realistic solution to her problem. An hour later, she’d stop talking to me and ignore me for the rest of the day. A few more similar incidents like that happened, and eventually, she ended up approaching another friend to talk to, and stopped telling me her problems. Later on, I heard from someone that I was came off to her as insensitive to her feelings.

Hearing that just shocked and infuriated me on the inside.

Just to be clear…

One, it is NEVER my intention to be insensitive to other people’s feelings (especially if he’she a very close friend) when they are bothered by something, and

Two, you asked for advice, and I gave it to you. Did you expect me to shower golden sprinkles or cast a magic spell to make everything go your way and make it all better?!

If there’s one thing I can’t guarantee, and that is advice that will solve all the problems. To begin with, advice is not always good. Sure, there is advice that will solve problems in a snap, but we also have to understand that advice can also be quite negative and realistic. And sometimes the advice you are given is not the way you want to go. It’s not supposed to give you solutions to your problems, but rather it’s supposed to help guide you through the decisions and solutions you make.

Nowadays, I’m more aware of the insensitive things I say, and I make an effort to contain my truthfulness and come off as sensitive to other’s feelings as possible. Although it is hard for me to give helpful advice, when I can’t be as honest as I want to be. Sometimes holding back my opinions and keeping silent just ends up making me look socially awkward and helpless…

As I said before, I am an insensitive human being; I can’t help but be objective and honest, because that is just who I am. Sometimes it hurts me when people say that I can be insensitive about others feelings when it is not my intention to be. As a result, people often don’t trust me with their problems, and go off to seek comfort someplace else.

Over the years though, I have noticed more and more of my friends approaching me and asking me for help or comfort. I still try to make an effort to be a little more sensitive and caring, but I also inject objecting truths about life.

I do warn them beforehand or afterwards though that I can be very insensitive, and that I will try to give them the best advice I can. In the end, they’d just brush off my warning and say, “What are you talking about?! I don’t think you’re insensitive.”

Being trusted with problems and stories, trying to give advice in return, and having your advice (whether positive or negative) appreciated by people are probably one of the best feelings in the world

Well in my opinion it is one of the best feelings I have ever felt, because it makes me think that I may not be so insensitive and indifferent after all.

I still do think I am a very insensitive and unfeeling person, but on the inside I do want to help people in anyway I can, be it from carrying books to giving advice. To help and to be trusted by others just makes me feel like my life has meaning, and it fills me with great joy!

ImagePicture (c) Google Images

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